Just like anything worth doing, dating takes practice. You have to know what you want, how to talk to the person you want to be with, and you have to practice in a safe, warm environment. We found five ways to help you get started and two places to practice.
You have to know what you want
First, you have to know what you want. It might seem simple and obvious, but in a world full of single people who want to settle, it’s easy to get lost in the sea of possibilities and end up alone. Once you do find the one, you’ll have to know what kind of relationship you’re looking for. You have to know yourself well enough to be able to say what you want in a relationship. And you have to be able to accept the fact that, while you may not want a bazillion things, you do want something. So, choose one thing you want and do the following:
Ask yourself if what you want is realistic.
This is the toughest thing because, if you’re like me, you’ve probably been around the dating block more than once and you’ve probably heard someone say, “That’s not realistic.” (It is for me!) But it shouldn’t be about what isn’t realistic. Think of it this way: Realistic is a given. When you want to add a “this” to “that,” you’re adding something you really really want. Getting that “this” is highly likely to be a surprise. If you start out by being realistic about what you want, you’ll end up being surprised less often.
Start with the positive.
The biggest reason people get into relationships that never work is they start out thinking, “I want to date a _____.” If you start by focusing on the person you want rather than the things you want, you’re less likely to put yourself in “shoulds” for someone else.
Plan your search.
Once you know what it is you really want, it’s time to plan how to get it. Start with your own needs first. Who is it that you want to be with? Think about what it is you do and don’t want in a person and make sure that person exists in your potential partner.
Once you know what you want, be honest with yourself.
Someone said that being open is the most difficult thing to do, but it’s also the most necessary. You need to be brutally honest with https://www.asiandatingwebsites.org/hot-interracial-affairs-on-hookup-apps-meet-asian-sex-mate.shtml
Remember these important rules of dating:
1. Be cute. Because, again, if you aren’t, it will show. (A woman, so my rule.)
2. Be funny. (A man, so this should include men who are not comedians—you’re all funny.)
3. Be kind. You’ll see. It is a lot easier to be kind than mean, and the easiest way to find kind people is to be kind, and to be mean only to someone who is being mean.
4. Be a little mysterious. Everyone wants to know what you’re doing. Try to tell them, but don’t tell them everything you’re doing. This includes birthdays, vacation plans, favorite movies, and really all that personal stuff. Keep some secrets.
5. Be cold. Some people aren’t that into physical contact. This isn’t about the number of new partners you’ve had. This is about someone being willing to be in your space, reach across a table, or make eye contact. If someone isn’t into physical contact, it’s not your job to initiate, initiate, initiate. If someone wants to hug you, after you’ve seen them for the first time, it is your job to ask them if they would like a hug.
6. Be really smart. Come off a little smart-ass if you want to seem smart. Obviously, you want to show off your intelligence, but don’t make it come off as arrogance. (Come on, you should be a little arrogant—those are your natural features.)
7. Be open-minded. If you’re on a date, you’re trying to get to know this person, so don’t get too personal too fast, but if you’re already sleeping together, it’s okay to be open-minded.
8. Don’t use your phone. This may seem like a strange rule, but it’s a rule that we use on The Bachelor, and it’s a rule we use every time we go on a date. Obviously, there are exceptions—it might be a good idea to call your mother at 3 a.m. if you feel like you’re going to have a full-on meltdown. But, as a general rule, keep your phone on silent and in your pocket unless you’re talking. Even if you’re messaging someone online.
9. Don’t use body language to escalate sexual tension. If you find yourself standing too close to a guy